


The First Time it Rains on Eos

by ObsidianFire



Series: Marian Ryder and Liam Kosta: Tales from a New Time [2]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Depression, F/M, Family Loss, Healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 23:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16229492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianFire/pseuds/ObsidianFire
Summary: Marian Ryder is stuck in her own past, as she experiences Eos moving towards life and happiness.





	The First Time it Rains on Eos

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came from an idea I had while reading "The Oldest Song in the World was the First Time it Rained" by KerriLovegood here on AO3. I was reading it, and thought that the first rain on Eos-the signs of being able to live and thrive there on the new planet-would not be a happy time for Marian, but instead the time that she reflects on the fact that this was not supposed to be her life. Rain, to me, is also cathartic. This seemed like a good time to have her get some things off her chest, and who better to understand her loss than someone who is so open about his own? This is a short ramble that I wanted to get off my chest tonight, and I hope that someone out there enjoys it! I wrote the majority of this to the song Anaesthetic by Thomston, if anyone wants the ambiance!
> 
> This takes place after the start of their 'friends with benefits' thing, but long before the actual initiation of their relationship.

The first time rain falls on Eos, Marian Ryder finds herself alone on the topmost hull of the Tempest. She sits next to her pile of discarded armor, clothed in her undersuit and stripped to the waist to try and cool down while she watches the beginnings of a sunset burn up the atmosphere. It’s a momentous occasion, and there are people celebrating down in Prodromos, but she can’t bring herself to join them.

It’s one of the few places that she can find relative peace and quiet on this forsaken planet, with its countless members constantly asking her for favors and help. In the last few days, Marian has been tasked with finding the remaining Eos settlers from the first two tries and cataloging the exact manner in which they have died. Days spent combing through the sand, scanning the bits and pieces of these people—people with families and children who would never see them again—left over from the hundreds of scavengers searching for a meal in the last year and a half. Through all of this, Marian cannot help but think of her father. 

At the thought of Alec Ryder, at the thought that this should have been his achievement, Marian begins to cry. Softly at first, a few tears slipping out before she shakes her head and tells herself to stop it. She has no time to mourn, no time to let out the deluge of emotion she has been holding back since becoming the successor as her father gasped for air back on Habitat 7. On days like this where too much emotion is close to the surface, she feels like screaming. Letting it all out, no matter the consequence. Sometimes she really wishes that it had been Mal who had been in her place, who had become Pathfinder while she remained mostly oblivious in a coma. 

Immediately, Marian feels guilty. How could she wish this on her brother? On anyone? Another tear slips down her face, and she feels the acute physical pain of her brother’s absence like a lance through her heart.

Letting out a small whimper, Marian hunches forward and wraps her arms around her knees. Her head plunks down and she presses her eyes into her forearms, trying to stop the tears that now can’t seem to stop flowing despite her best efforts otherwise. Seeing her brother’s still face in her memories, the same blank expression as her mother back on Earth and her father not that long in the past, Marian lets out a loud, heaving sob. Another follows close behind, and then another, and then she is too far gone to stop. Numb to the sensations around her as the cold water patters down on and around her, she misses the subtle sound of jump jets and footsteps at the back of the ship that usually signal someone coming up to end her solitude. 

She only notices that someone has joined her when the scraping of her gear being pushed back sounds from her side. Not bothering to pick her head up to see who has come to get her, Marian mumbles a watery “go away” before letting out another sob. The movement next to her pauses for a brief moment before resuming with more caution, until a warm body sits itself down next to her and leans in ever so slightly. 

“Never,” a soft-spoken voice in a familiar accent says.

Picking her head up, Marian looks over at the familiar outline of Liam through blurry eyes. “If you’re here to get me for a mission,” she says stuffily, “you can go tell whoever it is to fuck off. It can wait. I’ve had enough for the time being.” Her head settles back onto her arms as another sobbing breath is sucked in, tears still falling hard down her face and dripping onto her thighs. Liam lets out a sad sigh, and a hand that feels burning hot is placed gently on her lower back. 

“What are you thinking about, that you’ve been up here for an hour in freezing rain?” Liam’s hand moves gently up and down her back, moving the water that had slowly gathered on her skin. “You feel like ice, and while I wouldn’t normally mind the chance to warm you up, I’m worried you’ll get sick.” 

Remaining silent, Marian tries to catch her breath and stop the heaving in her chest before she answers. “I…I’m thinking that-“she hiccups, pausing on a particularly harsh breath,”-that this should have been Dad. Helping, discovering. This was all he ever wanted!” Marian cries out the last statement, almost yelling, before a wail rips out of her chest and she curls in smaller on herself. “This was never supposed to be me! Everything that I had has been ripped away from me by this fucking place,” she pauses with a loud inhale, “and I just wish I had died instead!”

Liam’s arm comes up around her fully, now, and pulls her sideways into him. He begins to make soft soothing noises in his throat, rocking her slowly side to side as she shakes with the force of her tears. “I was wondering when this was all going to come out. You’ve been too stoic, all this time. You aren’t a machine, Marian,” he says quietly as she quiets marginally. “You have lost a whole hell of a lot, yeah, no one can say you haven’t. But not everything. Not yet.” Marian quiets further as she listens to him speak, his rocking soothing her out of her shuddering sobs.

After a few minutes more, Marian hiccups once more and lifts herself away from Liam’s side. Tears still flowing, albeit with less frequency, she rubs her nose with the back of her hand and silently looks out to the distance. The citizens of Prodromos have returned to their houses, the rain finally feeling too cold as the daylight fades out and turns the sky a brilliant purple. 

“I just always figured that we would always be together. When Mom left, that whole image shattered. I clung on to Malyn after that, after Dad lost himself in SAM. Right up until we left, we didn’t go a day without speaking to each other. Now Dad’s dead, Mal is in a coma, and I have to deal with all the problems of building dozens of new civilizations. It’s just… a lot for one person.” She huffs out a watery sigh, wiping her nose once more before she turns to face Liam once again. He has an intense look of concern, of sadness, etched into his eyes as he looks at her. Instead of starting the tears again, like she so desperately wants to at the expression he is making for her, she tucks her head onto his shoulder and relaxes back into his side. His warm arms come up around her as she settles, and she feels his lips press into her hair as he begins to speak.

“I miss them, too. Mom and Dad. I keep thinking about saying goodbye to them, and it didn’t sink in until I was out of cryo that they’re six hundred years dead by now. And they had no idea whether or not I made it, if I was alive or if we had all exploded in space. I still cry myself to sleep about it.” He shifts position to pull Marian onto his lap, and holds her a little tighter as she turns herself to the side and acclimates to not sitting on the hard surface of the Tempest. “But it helps to remember that I’m not alone. Neither are you. We’re all here behind you. You can always fall back on us, Ryder.” 

He kisses the top of her head before saying quietly, “and for the record, I am glad as hell that you made it out of Habitat 7. Who else would watch terrible vids with me in the middle of the night?” 

Marian chokes out a laugh at that, and she can feel Liam smiling behind her. Sniffling, she tips her head up to look at him and gives him a weak, but true, smile. “I guess you and I both got lucky, then, because there really isn’t a better way to spend time.” Leaning her head forward, she touched foreheads with him before tilting her head and giving him a quick kiss. 

“Thank you, Liam. I know that this was the last thing you were expecting when you came to get me, but I think I can move along better now that it’s out.” She sighs, and then convulses in a monumental shiver. Chuckling, Liam rubs her arms before letting her slide off his lap.

“I think it’s time to get you inside, because we’re both soaked through.” Getting to his feet, he reaches a hand down to help her up. Before they can grab her gear and move towards the back of the ship to hop down, he stops Marian and turns her to face him. 

“It isn’t easy, Marian, but it gets better. Don’t forget that.” Leaning over, he kisses her slowly in the last of the rain before drawing her in for a quick hug. Finally backing up and leaning to grab her armor, the two of them walk slowly towards the end of the ship to move into warmer, safer quarters.


End file.
